A Good Caregiver is Organized and plans a workable routine.
Being prepared as a caregier takes organization. A good caregiver will plan a workable routine that is leasy to follow but allows for quick changes when needed. Any family with young children knows it is a good idea to run fire drills, and discuss emergency procedures on a regular basis. With older people in the household, it is also good to follow these rules but include medical needs, and evacuation procedures.
Paperwork
Mom is a “healer” so she does not have a personal doctor. This is good in some ways, but once she had a stroke, it was imperative to get her to the hospital for analysis and to get her started on a good regimen. After an MRI and some tests, we were assigned a doctor who could write prescriptions, and given materials on a hospice to contact. This was also important so she could be put “in the system” for Medicare and other benefits. I was told she had about three to six weeks left in her life. What an abrupt statement, and something no one is quite ready to hear.
It is often difficult to talk to someone about dying, so fortunately, my mom’s will, estate planning and trust, and DNR statements were easy to locate. We got those out and made sure everything was in order. This is an essential step in preparing for the final days, so you do not have the added stress when death arrives.
Fill out an individual POST form which you can get from your doctor. Everyone should do this NOW! My son in law is a first-responder, and can tell many sad tales of people who do not have this form completed. Each family member should decide how they wish to fill it out, and then hang it up on the side of the refrigerator. In the event there is an emergency, the forms are easy to access, and may save precious minutes if someone is fighting for their life. Though it took some lengthy discussion, we have chosen the “do not resuscitate” option. This is a difficult but necessary task.
Care-Taking
Let me say, that Hospice is a Godsend and we are so fortunate that they are here for all of us. They immediately began to schedule appointments, and trained me in most of my care-taking duties. Not only did they assist with acquiring the proper equipment, but I learned how to safely manage a daily routine and keep my new patient as comfortable as possible. Their counseling was also priceless, and I am so grateful for their patience and kindness.
So, when you are given “three to six weeks” to live, it has a certain blessing, in that you can try to prepare emotionally for those final days. We had regular visits from our Hospice team, monitoring mom’s health decline. Testing her oxygen levels, or seeing if the lungs are clear, is heart-wrenching, but gives you a gauge on when you should start calling family members. It is a grueling but necessary ritual…
But wait! She grows stronger. Her language skills are improving. For our lives, anyway, we have been given the gift of a partial recovery.
For many people, the physical pain of their condition needs to be managed. I was warned that we would probably be going through this towards the end of her life. I was given a prescription to use to help her sleep, but I am hesitant to use it. She has always relied on natural remedies, so as far as I can, I will continue to honor this way of healing.
Ready to Go
No matter how prepared one thinks they are, there are always surprises. I don’t dwell on it, but I know fires, earthquakes, and calamities happen. If I am here by myself, will I be able to get mom somewhere safely? In any case, it would be difficult, but there is a simple plan in place, if it is needed.
It makes me laugh to think I carry a “diaper bag” with me once again. Life is teaching me the reality of moving in a full circle.
Always packed and ready to go: extra briefs, wet wipes, small face towel, washcloth, food grinder, easy snacks, any extra clothes. Nowadays, we also need to carry a facemask, and sanitary wipes.
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